9 things only people with anxiety will understand

1. When something starts to hurt, you immediately jump to the worst conclusions.

Image Source: Instagram user Pranita Kocharekar

(That side-ache is appendicitis, your stomach ache is an ulcer, the mole you've had since you were 4 is cancerous, and your scab that's not healing- it's going to result in blood poisoning.)


2. When you hear a sound outside your window at night, you think you are going to be murdered in your sleep. 
(It's an axe-murderer! Definitely not a racoon or a cat!)


3. When you're home alone and get in the shower, you also think you are going to be murdered. 
(It's how it happens in all the movies!)


4. You can never remember if you locked the car door.
(But is it locked? Did I lock it? I don't remember it beeping... what if someone gets in my car and hotwires it and drives away? What if they run over someone while driving my car and commit a hit and run and then the police run the plates and then I go to jail for a crime I didn't commit?!)


5. You can never remember if you turned off the stove. 
(Is the stove on? Did I leave the stove on? Is there anything flammable near the stove? What if something falls on the stove and it catches fire and then the whole kitchen catches on fire and then the house burns down and then the neighbors' house catches fire too and the whole neighborhood goes up in flames?!)


6. If someone turns down plans to hang out with you... it's obviously because they hate you and think you are the weirdest person on the planet.
(What if they're laughing about the fact that I even invited them to that movie? Is that movie lame? Am I lame? Is it weird I invited them to that movie? Do they think I like them like them, even though I totally DON'T and now they are gonna be weird around me and tell all our mutual friends what I did and then none of them will want to be my friend and then I'm going to have no one?!)


7. You get a call from someone you haven't heard from in a while, and you freak out.
(What did I do.... Why are they calling me....)


8. You cook someone a meal and think you accidentally poisoned them. 
(Did I cook the meat all the way through? Did I wash the veggies before I cooked them? Did I wash my hands? Are they going to get salmonella from this chicken? What if they get salmonella from this chicken... Did I forget to wash the veggies... I think I forgot to wash the veggies. What if they're just eating cooked pesticides?!)


9. When you go to sleep, you lie awake knowing you're just going to go through this all again tomorrow.
(I can't sleep and now I'm only going to get 6.75 hours of sleep instead of the 9 I'm scientifically supposed to be getting to function at optimum levels.)

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Do any of you ever struggle with anxiety?

10 Ways You're Stopping Yourself From Meeting "The One"

Feel like you've been searching far and wide but haven't had any success in finding "the one"? Tired of feeling like your person just might not exist? News flash: you're not alone! And you won't be using #foreveralone forever. But let's be real, you could probably improve the way you're going about meeting your dream guy/girl. Here are 10 Ways You're Stopping Yourself From Meeting "The One":

1. You're not making any time to date.
How are you going to meet him/her if you're not making it a priority in your life?

2. Your expectations are WAY too high - read: impossible.
Nobody is perfect. Make a list of non-negotiables -- characteristics that you can't live without in a partner, but remember that everyone has flaws, including you. It's okay, even IMPORTANT to have high standards, but make sure your standards aren't impossible to meet. Keep your list of non-negotiables someplace where you can review them semi-frequently. Make a list of "nice to haves" too -- things that are not "required" but would be nice to have in a partner.

3. You haven't done enough soul searching, so you don't know what you want/need in a partner.
If you don't know yourself well enough, you won't know what your non-negotiables and nice to haves are. 

4. You won't even try online dating.
I met my significant other online. I was skeptical of the process at first, but here we are three years later! It's not for everyone, but at least give it a try. Protip: if there are certain characteristics that are non-negotiables for you, i.e. you want to date a Christian, try a Christian dating website and save yourself a lot of wasted time. Protip #2: Text at least one friend the name of the person you're meeting, location, day and time for safety precautions.

5. Your idea of a relationship watering hole is a bar. (Hint: it's probably not.)
Some people meet their significant others at a bar and that is totally fine. No judgment. But at least in LA I do not know that many people who go to bars looking for the love of their life. They typically are hanging out with friends (and are not even open to meeting new people,) or are looking for some casual fun. 

6. You aren't investing in dating or the idea that you are a hot catch.
You need to invest in yourself first before you can expect someone else to invest in you. Enough said. Two books that helped me in my very early twenties after I graduated college and went through a devastating breakup are Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey and Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov.

7. You refuse to get set up.
If your friends or parents have someone they think you'd be great with, don't shy away from that! I know it might get annoying if you've been set up a ton before and you feel like you're "the single friend everyone wants to set up." Maybe you've heard "I have someone GREAT for you to meet -- you'll be perfect together!" one too many times. If that's the case, show your match making friend or family member your list of non-negotiables and nice to haves. That way they won't waste your time or the other person's if they clearly don't meet the items on your list. 

8. You don't have any hobbies.
You need to have things that you like to do, for you.

9. You have too many hobbies (see #1)
If you have too many hobbies, you won't be creating space to date. If you don't create space to meet someone, how do you expect to find him or her?

10. You've never been to therapy and you''ll never go, either. 
Therapy in the traditional sense is not for everyone. My personal belief is that it can be vital in figuring out who you are and what is important to you. Maybe your therapy is yoga or walking your dog. If you have that thing in your life that allows you to reflect, learn from past mistakes, see yourself and your goals, and really know what you desire in a partner, then that counts. The real deal might not hurt either, especially if you meet with a therapist you really connect with. That is key.

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What do you think of this list? Anything you think I missed? Which item resonates with you the most? Happy soul searching!